Coaches are great mentors. They instill values that can carry you through life, and the ones who do it with intention are special, they leave a lasting impact. But at times, coaches can be consumed by the game — by winning or losing — and often use sports as a powerful metaphor for life. Lots of coaches draw on that metaphor to teach lessons about character, resilience and teamwork. That’s fine, but who’s giving you life game without using sports as the reference point?
Sometimes you need guidance that isn’t rooted in sports. Who do you turn to when you’re facing a decision that goes beyond the field or court — something personal, complex, or unrelated to your athletic goals? Who helps you navigate those parts of life where the playbook doesn’t apply?
As an athlete, your coaches often become confidants, mentors, and even parental figures — it was that way for me during my high school days for sure. But the reality is, it’s not always easy to turn to them for certain things. After a tough loss, a slump, or a heated practice where you got yelled at, it can be hard to walk right back in and open up about personal challenges. Not because they don’t care, but because in that moment, the dynamic can still be tied to the game.
Athletes are surrounded by coaches, and the higher up you go in your sport, the more locked in coaches are on results. Sure, there are many coaches who become like family — the ones who keep in touch with former players no matter how much they contributed to winning. And yes, sports build character and skills that transfer to life. Coaches help you grow indirectly by pushing you to be the best athlete possible, and sometimes that naturally shapes you as an individual.
But separate from your sport… who else do you have that is invested in your growth as a human being?
The truth is, a lot of athletes don’t seek outside mentorship until they feel lost, or until it’s too late. Imagine how much easier it would be if you had someone who could guide you without the thought or feeling that their advice is tied to your performance or how much better they can make you on the court or field.
A mentor outside of sports brings perspective you can’t get inside the bubble. At a high level, your sport becomes your whole world. Everyone around you speaks the same language and sees things through a similar lens. An outside mentor can help you connect your passion to your purpose, and sometimes help you discover passions you didn’t even know you had. They see you differently than your teammates and coaches, who usually see “athlete” first.
They also don’t tie your professional growth to your athletic ability. They can introduce you to new people, new circles, and new opportunities you otherwise might never encounter.
For me, that seed was planted around 13 or 14 years old. A family friend, someone who had known me my whole life, started introducing me to different ways of thinking, and to paths toward financial independence that had nothing to do with sports. At the time, I brushed most of it off. I was locked in, tunnel vision on basketball. But as I got older, I remembered those conversations. I picked up the books he had recommended. And it unlocked an entirely new world for me.
Although it never pulled me away from the game while I was playing, it was a resource that gave me a sense of direction after I retired. It helped me align my passions with my purpose. Those seeds created curiosity, and that curiosity gave me something to reach for when the game was over. It also gave me comfort in knowing that I wasn’t just my sport — there was more out there for me.
People who pour into you outside of your sport aren’t trying to distract you from your goals, they’re trying to make you a more well-rounded person. They see you as more than an athlete, and they want you to see that too.
Be proactive. Lean into those relationships. Seek out people who live the kind of life you’d want after sports. Ask real questions. Be open. Build trust.
If you’re an athlete reading this, start your search now. If you know an athlete, be that mentor they didn’t know they needed.
I’m just trying to pass on the things I wish I had been more intentional about seeking while I was still playing.
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